Agreed, not a phase problem. Obviously there's two broad categories to explore: there's either an issue to be corrected, or you just don't like the tone produced by your amp > SRL > IR of choice.
Can't help with the latter but I can confirm the Suhr 'sounds' pretty similar to other loads in its class, i.e. the better reactive loads that model the IC of a 4x12 cab (Fractal, St Rock, Fryette). So I doubt trying a number of these units will solve your issue.
So a few questions for you if you'd like some help troubleshooting.
1. Do you have an 8Ω 4x12 cab handy? If so, you can at least confirm if the both it and the SRL have a similar EQ effect when using an IR.
2. What is the line output of the Suhr connected too? Not sure if you followed up on my suggestion over at TGP via the link to check the input impedance of the preamp you're using.
3. What IR? Have you tried a third-party one that was made in a neutral way? If not, then you'll know that IRs can sound radically different not only depending on the obvious stuff (speaker, cab, mics) but also the method used to create it.
A SRL with an appropriate IR can sound almost identical to a miked cab if everything is done correctly. Assuming you like the sound of a miked 4x12 then best not to write-off the unit until you figured out what the problem is. Good luck & report back.
I have a 3-amp, 5-speaker, 9-mic stereo wet/dry/wet rig that I've recreated with IRs that I made of my speakers. Using a Behringer UMC1820 interface plus ADA8200 ADAT preamps (8) expansion. I don't need to use the line out on the load box with the Mark V, it has a slave out, but I've checked and all outputs (MkV slave, SRL XLR & 1/4") sound exactly the same and all change the same with the connected load.
When my speakers are still connected, and/or connected to the Thru on the load, the slave/line outs -> IRs sound great, very close to the mic'd speaker sound. But unplug the speakers and just use the internal load and it gets all scooped and boomy. I've gone thru every single IR available in the TwoNotes Wall of Sound plugin and I bought the one that sounds best to me, but it's still pretty bad. They're all really harsh, boxy, and most have too much bass (even without load boxes, just using the FX send). I've tried many IRs, floor modelers, modeling amps, and analog cab sim devices... I couldn't stand any of them. The IRs I made are the first ones I would actually be satisfied with using in a song that I would share publicly. But the excessive bassy scooped sound of the SRL and X-Load UK voicing are really difficult to work with.
I have 3 load boxes now, because I need 3 to recreate the 3-amp rig. The X-Load UK voicing is almost identical to the Suhr: scooped and bass-heavy, but the US voicing is better, good amount of bass, still fairly scooped, but not terribly. That's strange to me because UK voiced speakers/amps I've used or heard online have all had a mid-focused sound, exaggerated mids, while US voiced speakers/amps usually have a more scooped sound with more bass. But the X-Load UK and SRL ("Greenbacks") are the most bass-heavy and scooped of them all.
I also got a Rivera Mini Rock Rec. This one has a flatter sound: more mids, less bass, but kinda dark, not too much better than the IRs sound when I just send the FX send to them.
I've listened to some comparisons online with the THD Hot Plate, which also sounds dark and boxy, closer to the Rock Rec than the SRL or XL.
I wish something would be somewhere between the SRL and the Rock Rec, or just sound the same way it does when actual speakers are the load. Well, V30 and/or MC-90 or Jensen Tornado Stealth 80 make the slave out sound great. An old Celestion G12P-80 Line 6 stock speaker makes it sound thin and weak (like those speakers do sound).
I haven't compared any load to more than 2 speakers connected to one amp, but I'm gonna try it today, run the slave out with 4 8 ohm speakers on the Mark V.
It also is only like that with the Mark V... With the SRL on the Carvin V3 or Line 6 Flextone III XL solid-state power amp, it's not so bass-heavy. I tried EL34's in the Mark V and it made no difference to the general sound of the load.
There aren't really many options left for me to try. I don't need an IR loader or attenuator, so I don't wanna spend $600+. There's a Hot Plate for $300 right now. There's the Audiostorm Reactive Loaf for $200 shipped from UK. It has Inductance and Damping switches to change the voicing. The builder dropped their link on my post on FB, but they won't answer any of my questions about it on the post or in direct messages thru Reverb. If you want me to buy your device from overseas, you're gonna have to answer some questions. They talked down about the Julius Music Box Amp Pad "reactive load", which is just a coil of wire and small heat sink in a box. So I asked for a pic of the guts of their load box to see how it differs... Probably not by much if they won't show me.
Then the Weber Mass is all touchy and sensitive about being overpowered, says it's 100W but that it can't take more than 60W. Then there's the Tru-load, which is out of stock (even though they don't make their stuff until you order it, so I guess they just don't make it anymore?). I emailed them almost a week ago and no reply. So many businesses are such a joke these days.
And, of course, in all of Portland, OR and surrounding suburbs, there is not one load nox available in any of the many music gear stores, so I gotta deal with the waiting game of ordering online. The SRL had free 2-day shipping, but it took 6 days to get it here. I paid $62 for priority mail for the X-Load (4 days from coast to coast), but they lagged a day before sending it out, and then July 4th and Sunday were that week, so it took 7 days. Now I only have 8 days left to return the SRL, so I don't even know if I would get something else in time to compare it with the SRL before making a decision to return or not...