Can we talk about Matt Heafys guitar strap?

  • Thread starter Thread starter JimAnsell
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oh damn wait a minute, i didnt even notice what was going on, i thought that black stripe was just that, a stripe on the guitar LOL. well i thought maybe i would finally check Trivium out but now im over it
 
Matt Heafy pisses me off on a primal level I can’t even explain. I feel like he’s everything wrong with metal. For one, that strap is the dumbest dorkass looking shit I have ever seen, and every time I see it I want to rip it off the guy. I can hear him giving Ted Talks about how ergonomics are important, always drink your milk before bed, never cross the street without looking both ways. It’s like this sign he holds up that says “heavy metal is cool but hang on lemme strap on this cumbersome full body baby harness thing because it takes both my noodle shoulders to hold up a single guitar because I’m the biggest pussy in the universe. What’s that? Why yes of course I’m vegan.”

When you see that guy, is there anything about him you think is cool, anything about him that you want to emulate? Anything that makes you think “fuck yeah this dude rules?” Because to me he’s like the metal version of a walking corporate HR seminar.

And his tone is the quackiest, most obnoxious half-cocked-wah shit ever.
 
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7704A said:
Well, he doesn't have a clip-on tuner in the photo.
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That's literally the one thing he has going for him, cuz it sure isn't his riffs/band

The whole metalcore genre needs to die in fire, but especially shit like this

Steve Ramsey and Jon Drenning deserve signature guitars a whole hell of a lot more than Matt Heafy, and the dorky ergonomic crap is just a symptom of the dork-ification of rock and metal that's been happening the last couple of decades
 
7704A said:
Well, that and the entertainment factor if he tries to swing the guitar around him with that strap on. Probably looks like trying to hula-hoop with your neck.
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If a guy from a "metal" band had a guitar player that did this in the 80s, everyone would have (rightly) called him gay lol
 
DanTravis62 said:
If a guy from a "metal" band had a guitar player that did this in the 80s, everyone would have (rightly) called him gay lol
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Halford-riding-motorcycle-copy-1068x884.jpg

Whaaaa?🤣
 
That asshole just misses everything metal is about. Metal, for all its technicality, is at its core about emotion. Power, intimidation, anger, harnessing the forces of primal chaos into a direct and controllable order and energy, etc. But for guys like Heafy, none of that matters. Metal to them is just some choreographed series of movements you do because “that’s what I’ve been told is the way to do things.”

Strapping on a full body guitar baby harness that wraps a bunch of obnoxious goofy looking straps over the front of the guitar itself, and then constantly asking the crowd if they’re having “a good safe time tonight” then immediately launching into some breakdown as if it means anything at all other than “ok pre-teens who go to my shows, now is the part where you Godzilla Stomp and do Windmill Arms and pretend karate moves and whatever other maximally retarded shit you’ve watched videos or other people doing in the pit, just for heaven’s sake don’t touch anyone without their express written consent.”

I just fucking hate everything the guy stands for.
 
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TheGreatGreen said:
That asshole just misses everything metal is about. Metal, for all its technicality, is at its core about emotion. Power, intimidation, anger, harnessing the forces of primal chaos into a direct and controllable order and energy, etc. But for guys like Heafy, none of that matters. Metal to them is just some choreographed series of movements you do because “that’s what I’ve been told is the way to do things.”

Strapping on a full body guitar baby harness and constantly asking the crowd if they’re having “a good safe time tonight” then immediately launching into some breakdown as if it means anything at all other than “ok pre-teens who go to my shows, now is the part where you Godzilla Stomp and do Windmill Arms and pretend karate moves and whatever other maximally retarded shit you’ve watched videos or other people doing in the pit, just for heaven’s sake don’t touch anyone without their express written consent.”

I just fucking hate everything the guy stands for.
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Are you not intimidated by his stare?
Lmao
 
VonBonfire said:
I have seen this many times. FL baby. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
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One of the times I got banned from TGP, it was because I had the temerity to explain to the boomers that the audience has expectations of image for the musicians that are on stage

And that wearing khaki shorts and birkenstocks with socks make you look like a chump, which makes people think you're playing sucks, whether you were good or not

I've literally watched this happen in real time at cover band gigs ive played - the only people who DON'T care what you look like are the other guitar players in the audience
 
DanTravis62 said:
One of the times I got banned from TGP, it was because I had the temerity to explain to the boomers that the audience has expectations of image for the musicians that are on stage

And that wearing khaki shorts and birkenstocks with socks make you look like a chump, which makes people think you're playing sucks, whether you were good or not

I've literally watched this happen in real time at cover band gigs ive played - the only people who DON'T care what you look like are the other guitar players in the audience
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Absolutely. The show and presentation, whether you want to think so or not, matters. For example I think 80's Metallica wouldn't have been nearly as famous if James Hetfield didn't look like the meanest motherfucker around. Dimebag's playing was unparalleled but the fact that he looked as outrageous as he did, didn't hurt. Also you can't tell me Slash got the recognition he did because of his blues licks alone.

People want to think a band's look and their presentation doesn't matter because if presentation matters, then oh man I have to work on improving my dorkass appearance and that takes work! But hey I'll just fall back on how anybody who thinks that doesn't have "musical integrity" or whatever. But you can think that has hard as you want, it still won't change the fact that everybody in the world is going to think you look like an unfuckable goober on stage.

Doesn't surprise me you got banned for that over there.
 
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TheGreatGreen said:
Absolutely. The show and presentation, whether you want to think so or not, matters.

For example I think 80's Metallica wouldn't have been nearly as famous if James Hetfield didn't look like the meanest motherfucker around.

People want to think a band's look and their presentation doesn't matter because if presentation matters, then oh man I have to work on improving my dorkass appearance and that takes work! But hey I'll just fall back on how anybody who thinks that doesn't have "musical integrity" or whatever, but that won't change the fact that everybody in the world is going to think you look like an unfuckable goober on stage.

Doesn't surprise me you got banned for that over there.
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I'm not king shit of anything, but i've experienced this first hand, and i'm sure alot of other members here have too

You don't even have to "dress up" or anything, it's just about NOT looking like a fucking dork

I don't know how many times i've heard "man you fucking killed it, you ate the opener guy alive" when i did no such thing, and was drunk or sloppy or shredding at inappropriate times, and the opener guy played everything perfectly. It's all because of the combination of the music you're making with the image youre projecting into people's heads.

And it's all simply because you dress appropriately to the music you're making and the presentation youre creating

I don't know how many inexperienced musicians i've had arguments with this about, as if it's somehow going to compromise your artistic integrity to WEAR FUCKING PANTS like an adult and put on some semi-stylish shoes
 
Clip on tuners = I have a clit. Either born with or some hormonally mangled appendage
 
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