Stripped Rights
Well-known member
Some people pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.
Stripped Rights
Well-known member
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Monkey Man
Super Moderator
Those two are standouts for me. Very-funny bro'. 
Stripped Rights
Well-known member
Indeed! Wish I could take credit for it.Very-funny bro'.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
MadAsAHatter
Well-known member
Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares it down until it gives up the information he wants.
Stripped Rights
Well-known member
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.
MadAsAHatter
Well-known member
To modernize an older one....
COVID gets a Chuck Norris booster every 6 months.
COVID gets a Chuck Norris booster every 6 months.
JohnnyGtar
Well-known member
Chuck Norris went skydiving and his parachute didn't open.
Chuck took it back for a refund.
Chuck took it back for a refund.
JohnnyGtar
Well-known member
Chuck Norris does in fact use a stunt double, but only for crying scenes.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris can make sticks by rubbing two fires together.
When Chuck Norris lifts dumbbells, they get smarter.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris can make sticks by rubbing two fires together.
When Chuck Norris lifts dumbbells, they get smarter.
Stripped Rights
Well-known member
JohnnyGtar
Well-known member
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
JohnnyGtar
Well-known member
Chuck Norris once had an arm wrestling contest with Superman.
I'm not going to say who won, but the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside for the rest of his life.
I'm not going to say who won, but the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside for the rest of his life.
Monkey Man
Super Moderator
Maybe it's 'cause I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but man, I'm laughing out-'loud at practically every one of these jokes... which is kinda-unusual for me 'cause I see the punchline coming typically.
Not here 'though.
Not here 'though.
JohnnyGtar
Well-known member
Maybe it's 'cause I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but man, I'm laughing out-'loud at practically every one of these jokes... which is kinda-unusual for me 'cause I see the punchline coming typically.
Not here 'though.
I started reading those jokes and I've laughed harder than I have in years. Great stuff.
MadAsAHatter
Well-known member
Chuck Norris had an idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. It's called RedBull
Chuck Norris can speak braille
Chuck Norris can speak braille
Monkey Man
Super Moderator
I know, right?
One of the best things about them is that you don't have to sit through a 5-minute story only to be delivered a piss-weak punchline.
MadAsAHatter
Well-known member
One time a king cobra bit Chuck Norris. After five days of excruciating pain the cobra died
JohnnyGtar
Well-known member
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to season his meat.
JohnnyGtar
Well-known member
During an interview with Norris about the jokes, he loved them. The interview asked if he was fast enough to run around the earth a punch himself in the back of the head.
"No. I'd hear myself coming."
Chuck Norris killed 2 stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The reaper is too scared to tell him.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mother home from the hospital.
"No. I'd hear myself coming."
Chuck Norris killed 2 stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The reaper is too scared to tell him.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mother home from the hospital.
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JohnnyGtar
Well-known member
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn. He dares it to grow.