Everybody should take notice and try to be kind and understand mental illness.

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vultures said:
Sorry for your loss man. It's a tough way to lose someone. No closure. I've lost some family and close friends to suicide. There are days I wonder what I could have done different to help. Some days I don't think anything could have changed their minds. In the end it's not worth ruminating over, it's better to think of the good times spent with them.

Hope you find ease in your greaving.
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I look at it like this. I think everyone struggles daily and I think that for people that commit suicide, in a particular moment they decided it was too much. I have no doubt that all of them would have never done it if they could see what it did to others, what they missed out on, etc.

It is just something that happened and it sucks those people are gone but for everyone else, have to keep pushing forward.
 
romanianreaper said:
I have no doubt that all of them would have never done it if they could see what it did to others...
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I've prevented my own suicide many times over the years by imagining exactly this bro'.

It's been my safety net now for a long time, knowing that I could never do this to anyone.

Interestingly to me, it all arose from being so-broken for so-long and so many times that I reached the point that I couldn't harm a flea / ant or whatever. Too much empathy and feeling-wrestling. By logical extension, the aforementioned technique arose.

Ironic, that being sufficiently-broken for a sufficient length of time lead to this. I reckon if a decline happened quickly-enough with none of this suffering experience as a background, most could easily see how the deed could be carried-out with abandon and little or no pause for the consideration of others' feelings.
 
My deepest condolences. There is a tendency to diminish mental illness to something less important than somatic diseases which is of course completely wrong. I'm very sorry for your loss.
 
These pictures hurt me so much but my mom just made this elk for my dad 2 weeks before she died and this is my mom and dad when they were both happy
 

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Monkey Man said:
I've prevented my own suicide many times over the years by imagining exactly this bro'.

It's been my safety net now for a long time, knowing that I could never do this to anyone.

Interestingly to me, it all arose from being so-broken for so-long and so many times that I reached the point that I couldn't harm a flea / ant or whatever. Too much empathy and feeling-wrestling. By logical extension, the aforementioned technique arose.

Ironic, that being sufficiently-broken for a sufficient length of time lead to this. I reckon if a decline happened quickly-enough with none of this suffering experience as a background, most could easily see how the deed could be carried-out with abandon and little or no pause for the consideration of others' feelings.
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One of my hardest weeks struggling ever, was a week before my daughter's best friend committed suicide. Watching my kid sit there trying to understand with this zombie look on her face made me feel less sorry for myself and thr situation I was in but still led to a hard year.

A friend of mine from the military was within hours of doing it and one of my friends reached out to a bunch of us and we flooded him with love and support and told him he matters. He got thru that night and changed him. I see his posts on social media and he is really loving now!

It is like thr chicken and the egg sometimes I think. Hard times can make a person struggle but there is ALWAYS another thing, person, situation to focus on. All of those rockstars that died could have said "f this, I'm out" and moved to the woods to get away. Just do nothing at all and still be here.

It really is an interesting thing.
 
One other thing. The news, social media, and these perfect everythings make me way to do thr opposite for my mental health. If my wife says "look everyone is wearing this type of suit now and drive yellow sedans", I'm like "great, I'm putting on a dress and carrying a large owl while riding a unicycle". Screw normal and all of this stuff. Everyone should live and have fun and suck the marrow out of life while you can.

I'm 53 years old and recently me and my buddy started wearing battle vests to shows. So liberating and just have a blast! Important to find the joy in moments to counter the tough stuff.
 

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Yup.

The problem with trying to keep up with the Joneses is that you can never keep up with the Joneses... or match them for that matter.

EDIT for clarification:
It's a physics thing. You're always-behind by-default.
 
My 11 year old son and I were out in the yard couple of weeks ago at around 9:30 at night when we heard a Rifle go off. He looked at me and asked if that was that fireworks? I said no, that’s a rifle. He asked if I was going to call the police and I told him no unless we hear another one. Well, it turned out to be my friend Jimmy, he was bummed out because of the barmaid down at the local pub. RIP Jimmy.
About 20 years ago during lunch break me and a couple of employees that worked for me were having lunch when we heard what sounded like a muffled gun shot. About 20 minutes later, we heard the same sound. My neighbors kid blew his brains out the day of high school graduation. Sometimes when I get together with some of them, we talk about it because it was so shocking to hear it.

I wrote and recorded a song called maniacal, homicidal, suicidal friends of mine, because I’ve known three people that have completed the murder suicide, two of them were the lead singer in a band I was in. And I know another guy that tried, but was unsuccessful.
It fucks with your brain.

https://on.soundcloud.com/CkToRrivMR7oAp5m6
 
Markedman said:
My 11 year old son and I were out in the yard couple of weeks ago at around 9:30 at night when we heard a Rifle go off. He looked at me and asked if that was that fireworks? I said no, that’s a rifle. He asked if I was going to call the police and I told him no unless we hear another one. Well, it turned out to be my friend Jimmy, he was bummed out because of the barmaid down at the local pub. RIP Jimmy.
About 20 years ago during lunch break me and a couple of employees that worked for me were having lunch when we heard what sounded like a muffled gun shot. About 20 minutes later, we heard the same sound. My neighbors kid blew his brains out the day of high school graduation. Sometimes when I get together with some of them, we talk about it because it was so shocking to hear it.

I wrote and recorded a song called maniacal, homicidal, suicidal friends of mine, because I’ve known three people that have completed the murder suicide, two of them were the lead singer in a band I was in. And I know another guy that tried, but was unsuccessful.
It fucks with your brain.

https://on.soundcloud.com/CkToRrivMR7oAp5m6
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Holy crap man. Wow. I think it is good to talk about this stuff. We are all here on a guitar forum but we also should make sure each other are ok. Nothing wrong with that and shows thos is universal.

My great-grandfather killed himself that way long before I was born. My grandmother (his daughter) who I was really close to, was the one who found him. She would talk about it when people would mention suicide.

I think it is important now more than ever that people talk about this stuff. Without sounding like the 50-something old man that I am, kids these days see and hear too much and have a high bar of perfection set. That is a recipe for depression, loneliness, etc.
 
Demons.

Seriously, those voices in your head that you’re hearing right now in your head come from outside of you, not within you. Nikola Tesla told us that our brains are only use for breathing, feeling pain and other things similar to that. All of our thoughts come from somewhere else. That explains how somebody could possibly kill themselves because it would be unnatural to end your life if you controlled it, your thoughts that is.

In the center of our brain, there is something called the pineal gland. This receives and transmits thoughts, and the government has employed people who can travel throughout the world using their pineal gland. Some of you know all about this others will say I’m crazy, but do minimal research, and you’ll find out I’m telling the truth.

In the early part of the Vietnam war, the night vision goggles included both green and red spectrum. This is not infrared. They had to stop using the red, because the gunners on the helicopters would see the demons and shoot at them.

Demons. Here’s the link - https://www.bitchute.com/video/qdGLnXfmry4l/

As humans, we can only see a fraction of the light spectrum. There are many more dimensions, and these demons live in the nearest dimension, the fourth dimension. We are spirits, we’re not souls, we’re not meat vessels that just disappear when we die. Reincarnation has been proven to be real, and there are so many things that we are unaware of, blissfully unaware of. Time flies. To live in the moment is the only way to remain sane.
 
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Marked Man, that is cool stuff! I've been watching documentaries and reading about "soul" stuff (not James Brown, lol). I've always been a spiritual person so I know regular life ain't the end.

I started reading this book yesterday from the funny guy (Dwight) from the Office show. Really cool how he uses humor to explain stuff. I know there is a reason I'm super relaxed out in nature. I'm never stressed like I am on a phone or computer. I think people that are depressed should snag a cabin for a weekend and relax and see REAL life.
 
Sorry to hear about your loss. We have a good group of folks here on RT, and I appreciate seeing the support. I am paraphrasing, but I heard someone say "if you are considering taking your life, ALL options (in life) are on the table." I appreciate that statement and think about that from time to time. Thanks, guys
 
Gitfiddler said:
Sorry to hear about your loss. We have a good group of folks here on RT, and I appreciate seeing the support. I am paraphrasing, but I heard someone say "if you are considering taking your life, ALL options (in life) are on the table." I appreciate that statement and think about that from time to time. Thanks, guys
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It is so true! About a year and a half ago, one of my friends was going to take his own life because of bureaucracy at work and not getting promoted and hating his job. He could have left that job and done anything in this world and better than going away.
 
Of course, it's easy to say these things but when you're in the position where all hope seems lost, simple, logical solutions don't present themselves so-easily.
 
Monkey Man said:
Of course, it's easy to say these things but when you're in the position where all hope seems lost, simple, logical solutions don't present themselves so-easily.
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Indeed.

I had a really rough bout with suicidal thoughts in my late 20’s, I was drinking myself to death at the time and looking back it’s very apparent how the drinking plus the issues that were causing me to drink rolled into “Just fucking do it, dude” and many nights I found comfort in planning it, like THAT was the relief, was to actively plan it out. I resolved those issues and ‘snapped out of it’ back then and one would think that that experience would have kept me prepared for the future, but it didn’t.

My marriage almost took me out. 2 years ago this past Saturday, actually. My ex-wife was going through some mental health issues that resulted in her becoming the complete opposite of the person I knew and loved for 15 years and when shit hit the fan, I can’t even put into words what was going on inside my head and body at the time. I felt like I was going to implode and combust at the same time, I’ve never experienced physical pain and mental anguish at that extent in my life, I couldn’t think at all. No meditation exercise or technique was possible, it felt like I was coming within seconds of passing out only to be jolted back to consciousness with pain. I just wanted it to end and the only relief I could think of was fully loaded and sitting in my nightstand. I know I started walking towards it and at this point I blacked out, the next thing I knew I was driving up a side street at about 90mph calling my ex and though I’ve been screaming in metal bands for years at that point, the sound that came out of my voice on that phone call…..the rest of my days will be spent doing what I can to never hear it again.

I thought I was pretty bad in my late 20’s, but looking back it was just obsessive thoughts/being stuck in my own head. That shit with my marriage was so completely different that it legitimately scared me. While I’ve often taken LSD or shrooms to intentionally not have control of myself, this was the first time I ever experienced a complete shut down, the pain was so damn overwhelming I couldn’t think or function outside of “This needs to end NOW” I can absolutely see how it happens with people when they hit that point and if life were like that on a regular basis, man….I woulda been gone a long time ago.
 
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