GUITAR CONTEST PART II Jackson V Closed to Further Entries

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So, I was heading over to Tosche station to pick up some power converters.

I run into this goofy dude in a black suit, who starts saying, "Have I got a little story for you!

What you thought was your daddy was nothin' but a...

While you were sittin' home alone at age thirteen,

Your real daddy was dyin', sorry you didn't see him, but I'm glad we talked..."

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So this one time at band camp, up here in the Rockies, I was out walking around in the woods giving sloppy fellatio to my saxaphone reed and doing my best to sound like a dying rabbit in the hopes of getting the attention of a cougar. My notes were raw, and loud. VICIOUS even. I was completely in the zone because I was pretty sure no one could actually hear my jazzy jizzlings. So, it was MUCH to my surprise while I was piping out a particularly sloppy sultry C that I received... a tap on the shoulder. Well it must have been my luck day because a very feisty feline did hear the howls! Standing to my right and dressed in a full camo lycra bodysuit was.... Nita Strauss! I knew at once who she was, despite the bow on her arm & the quiver on her back that was fully out of context other than to tell anyone in sight "RaWr.." Years of crusty socks in the laundry basket can't hide the memories! I must have had the most dumbfounded look on my face at first but that quickly vanished when she spoke. Confusion turned to intention in the blink of an eye when she looked at me deeply & said... "I love what you can do with your mouth... I need to hear that sweet music again... But this time, give it to me in.. D."
 
GJgo said:
So this one time at band camp, up here in the Rockies, I was out walking around in the woods giving sloppy fellatio to my saxaphone reed and doing my best to sound like a dying rabbit in the hopes of getting the attention of a cougar. My notes were raw, and loud. VICIOUS even. I was completely in the zone because I was pretty sure no one could actually hear my jazzy jizzlings. So, it was MUCH to my surprise while I was piping out a particularly sloppy sultry C that I received... a tap on the shoulder. Well it must have been my luck day because a very feisty feline did hear the howls! Standing to my right and dressed in a full camo lycra bodysuit was.... Nita Strauss! I knew at once who she was, despite the bow on her arm & the quiver on her back that was fully out of context other than to tell anyone in sight "RaWr.." Years of crusty socks in the laundry basket can't hide the memories! I must have had the most dumbfounded look on my face at first but that quickly vanished when she spoke. Confusion turned to intention in the blink of an eye when she looked at me deeply & said... "I love what you can do with your mouth... I need to hear that sweet music again... But this time, give it to me in.. D."
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The saddest of all keys
 
Mid size club in 94 or so for a Pat Travers show. He was an idol growing up. Girlfriend and myself headed across the street for dinner before the show. We were both excited for the concert and dressed to the "T" as Rockers. Grabbed a table- ordered and then Pat and Mars Cowling walked up to us and asked if they could sit with us. My GF said "Yes" without a bat of the eye
Ate a nice dinner with them and Pat and myself BS'd about Marshalls and guitars and favorite Boosts. GF and Mars BS'd about who knows what. Pat picked up the entire bill- moved us both front stage center, met after the show backstage and then went to the hotel with them until the early am. BTW Lisa, nice guitar - love it but mine is a true story so I am disqualified.
 
Quite a few years ago.

I wasn’t here, I was on Earth 114, hunting down a ‘demon’ that was assimilating souls from children.

Long story short, I broke into a house where something that looked like a man was doing things to children.

I ended him with the help of a little doll named Jeremiah that lives in my coat. He helps me, gives me powers that I couldn’t attain on my own. He hates child molesters in any form too.

Bounced back to Earth 113; it’s a norm World, no Magic, no Powers, nothing.

Went to a bar, just wanted to relax.

Pissing, and realize Dime is next to me.

Etiquette be damned. I tell him he’s the GOAT.

He replies “much appreciated brother, what can I do for ya?”

I finish, shake it off, step back and realize he’s got two shadows.

I know what this means, and it’s appearent he does too.

He looks at me, sees my 3 shadows and asks “are you ok?”

I tell him I am, ask the same.

He replies:

“ I’m good brother, let’s get a drink”

I realize there’s a demon riding him, realize the pattern of him getting there and being that guy is because of this.

“You sure brother?!”

He tells me “I’ve seen it. I know what’s up, I know it’ll hurt you and me if I let it. I won’t.”

I ask if we’re safe, ask if I can do anything for him, he tells me ‘nah, I asked for this, I’m handling it.’

I tell him it’ll kill him early, he tells me he knows, but he’s seen it and knows it’ll be ok. It’ll be a thing where his band, his playing, his bends even, make a difference.

I tell him:

“You could be with her, you could have this be a thing, it’s not as important, it doesn’t matter so much, you’re a blip.”

He replied:

“Nah, the blip doesn’t matter. I need to, have to, be an influence. It had to happen, we have to go forward. There’s no one else that can be this guy.”

That’s the time I met Dime; that’s the time he made a difference to me and to metal.
 
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I remember my gut churning as I saw on the news that Covid was probably caused by a bat in Wuhan, China.

So I called Ozzy and asked him, “you remember that time we were in China not long ago? You know, when we both fucked that bat?”

Ozzy said; “I’ve fucked a lot of bats. What’s your point?”

I said; “Yeah but do you remember that one named Sharon?”

And I could hear his gut start to churn. He then uttered; “Oh yeah, she seemed especially frothy. I thought it was rabies and I got a rabies shot back in 80s. Figured I was good.”

So we flew to Wuhan, China to find that bat. Ozzy got hurt as we were 4-wheeling thru the jungle but I persevered on and finally found that bat. As I repeatedly stabbed that bat I kept repeating, one word per sword-thrust…
This
Is
For
Randy!
 
I pass by this contest everyday, smack my lips and hesitate I am not so good at essays 😂
 
So, in my military days me and my friends were known to frequent bars around Texas quite often. Mainly San Antonio. One time we went to a concert where we see none other then the great Megadeth. The mid 2000’s lineup as well. The Drover brother’s, James Lomenzo, and the main man, Dave Mustaine himself.

So, my one friend Jake, sees these guys and their lady friends all sitting around and yells “hey, for the cost of these tickets we could’ve seen Metallica!!!!”. This sets off a crazy night. Dave Mustaine come’s over belligerent and smelling of Wild Turkey and says “Hey, mother fucker I could’ve been talking to Marines”. We were all Air Force guys and one of my friends wore an Air Force T-shirt to the concert. This Sets my friend Jake off who says I only came to see “Job” (Job for a Cowboy), not some dude impersonate Kirk Hammett without a wah.

Dave gets in his face and we’re standing around our friend Jake and the rest of the band and several other people step up. Most everyone here just came from seeing a Megadeth show. Dave says “how about you asshats step outside instead of running your mouths”. In which case at 1:00 AM here I am me, my friend Jake, and two other Air Force buddies all standing outside a bar in downtown San Antonio on the riverwalk with 2008 lineup Megadeth and a bunch their fans shouting, “kick his ass Dave”. Now here the kicker the one thing I will never forget from this night, and it’s not anything Dave Mustaine said, no. James Lemonzo the bassist at this time stepped forward pointed to a finely lit moonlight and said, “I can see your star of Death shining brightly in the midnight sky”. The chattering crowd and everyone went silent. No noise at all. For about 5 seconds when Dave broke that silence and said, “who hear wants to help Megadeth kick these guys ass”? What rained down on us was one of the worst Midnight ass whoppings I ever felt. The cops came broke it up, and by the time I got up all the members of Megadeth were completely gone.

I never seen a megadeth show since. However, I did see a Lynchmob show a few years after in which James Lemenzo played. I’m a huge George Lynch fan and was at the front of the crowd. We made eye contact and I know he recognized because he said something in George Lynch’s ear after seeing me in between songs. Then George Lynch gets on the Mic and says, “this song goes out to those who’ve seen the star of death and lived to talk about it”. Then he begins to play wicked sensation. Let me tell it was actually a pretty good show.
 
I'm walking through the woods one day, and suddenly something very large is crashing through the underbrush. Over the ruckus, I can just make out someone yelling "Yeah!". Seconds later as I come into a clearing, James Hetfield busts out of the bushes riding a bear. The bear has a saddle and girdle like a horse, and has clearly been ridden before.

Just as the bear comes to a skidding halt, James dismounts by jumping off and doing 16 flips in the air. He lands directly in front of me with his hand out for a handshake. "Lars told me you're a big fan" he says. I shake his hand and we talk about gear and music for the next half an hour. The bear sat there nicely like a dog the whole time. We say our goodbyes, James hops back on the bear, and with a "Yeah!" he's gone back into the underbrush.

James has quite a grip. My hand still hurts to this day from that handshake.
 
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