Just got out of jail ! Gimme some tunes to cheer me up !

I remember i cheated on my girrlfriend with her best friend, and i used to call her my hummingbird. Probably got that there too
 
Smash said:
Is that where i got that from, lol? I knew as soon as you said it.. jesus
Click to expand...
Con Air Medium.jpeg
 
Best sex I ever had was in prison….
That butt pussy is good C.O. I think he has a lung attached to it….
I was hitting this punk from behind…just giving it to him…and he turned around and kissed me on the lips…I thought damn-this dude is gay for real….
And the best one for last- I was pounding this punk and I pulled it out and guess what I seen…Me-What? Him- a baked bean…. Right in the end of that joint. Me- So what did you do? Him- I went PEEOWWW(while making a flipping motion above his penis) and commenced to go right back to fuckin….
Those are snippets of just a few conversations that I’ve had with inmates over the years…lol
PEEOWWW!!!!!!
 
JackBootedThug said:
Best sex I ever had was in prison….
That butt pussy is good C.O. I think he has a lung attached to it….
I was hitting this punk from behind…just giving it to him…and he turned around and kissed me on the lips…I thought damn-this dude is gay for real….
And the best one for last- I was pounding this punk and I pulled it out and guess what I seen…Me-What? Him- a baked bean…. Right in the end of that joint. Me- So what did you do? Him- I went PEEOWWW(while making a flipping motion above his penis) and commenced to go right back to fuckin….
Those are snippets of just a few conversations that I’ve had with inmates over the years…lol
PEEOWWW!!!!!!
Click to expand...
Ew. There is always someone out there with more disturbing stories than I’d like to believe. Thanks Steve for the mental imagery. I guess it’s better than a poop noodle (Pooh pushed in the head hole and squirts out like playdoh spaghetti maker).
 
JackBootedThug said:
Best sex I ever had was in prison….
That butt pussy is good C.O. I think he has a lung attached to it….
I was hitting this punk from behind…just giving it to him…and he turned around and kissed me on the lips…I thought damn-this dude is gay for real….
And the best one for last- I was pounding this punk and I pulled it out and guess what I seen…Me-What? Him- a baked bean…. Right in the end of that joint. Me- So what did you do? Him- I went PEEOWWW(while making a flipping motion above his penis) and commenced to go right back to fuckin….
Those are snippets of just a few conversations that I’ve had with inmates over the years…lol
PEEOWWW!!!!!!
Click to expand...

 
JackBootedThug said:
Best sex I ever had was in prison….
That butt pussy is good C.O. I think he has a lung attached to it….
I was hitting this punk from behind…just giving it to him…and he turned around and kissed me on the lips…I thought damn-this dude is gay for real….
And the best one for last- I was pounding this punk and I pulled it out and guess what I seen…Me-What? Him- a baked bean…. Right in the end of that joint. Me- So what did you do? Him- I went PEEOWWW(while making a flipping motion above his penis) and commenced to go right back to fuckin….
Those are snippets of just a few conversations that I’ve had with inmates over the years…lol
PEEOWWW!!!!!!
Click to expand...
tumblr_n6r7hj8DLW1tooympo1_400.gif
 
i'd just like to say that listening to your alls jail stories has been a learning experience....as someone who has not even ever gotten a speeding ticket, i have learned a lot :LOL:
 
alund said:
Ew. There is always someone out there with more disturbing stories than I’d like to believe. Thanks Steve for the mental imagery. I guess it’s better than a poop noodle (Pooh pushed in the head hole and squirts out like playdoh spaghetti maker).
Click to expand...
I was working a unit on overtime once and this dude from NYC comes up and says he needs to go to medical. Well in prison it doesn’t work like that. I said nope. He said but I really need to go CO… I say why… he said-I’m really sick. I say-what’s wrong? He gives me a strange look and let’s out a long sigh and says you are really gonna make me do this aren’t you? Now I’m thinking to myself what is this mofo gonna do? Swing on me? Stab me? I say yup… what’s up? He then proceeds to tell me how he was changing and slipped and accidentally got his toothbrush holder (and toothbrush) stuck in his touch hole…that’s asshole or butthole for civilians. So I look at him for about a minute…very long and drawn out…got a little uncomfortable for a second..then I said don’t worry bro…I got you… the look of relief on his face was a site to behold. So I got on channel one and called medical. They responded. I said go to tac 2… they said negative go with your traffic… I said I have an inmate that needs to see you. They said wait till sick call… I said negative..he needs to come now.. they say what is his problem? The inmate has been listening to us with a continually growing look of horror and realization…he begins mumbling don’t do it CO, don’t do it CO… I look at him and say sorry bwah.. I key the mike and say on tac 1( whole institution..everyone hears that traffic) the inmate fell on his toothbrush holder and it’s stuck in his ass and he can’t get it out. Radio silence…. Then I hear them say-come again with your last…then I say-inmate has his toothbrush holder stuck in his ass and he can’t get it out. After a pause they say send him… while this conversation is happening the inmate in question is steadily shrinking and getting paler and sweating realizing that this conversation is happening on channel one and every one is listening to me explaining that he has a toothbrush holder stuck in his ass. Plus the neighboring unit officer as well as the unit secretary, unit manager, case manager and two counselors come out when they hear me on the radio. So now you have 6 radios blaring this conversation throughout the block and the other inmates are hearing everything… then everyone begins laughing..but me because I’m a professional and shit… by the time I send him out on the yard to walk to medical..every swinging dick with a radio is standing out there watching this crash test dummy do the walk of shame… they actually had to do an emergency med trip for him. I never saw him again….
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top