It's not Calvinism that says it, it's what the Bible says. People like Calvin and Luther had to fix up the mess that the Catholics and Orthodox Churches had descended into. Your church needs to return to the Bible's teachings.
Romans 9 13-18
13 Just as it is written: “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.”
14 What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! 15 For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” 16 It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy. 17 For Scripture says to Pharaoh: “I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” 18 Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.
https://www.ligonier.org/learn/devo...7Yqwaq7MhJDvrn_3z1cux0L9FDd1xJ1YB4iUYW_lX6hME