tales from the big house.....

DanishDon said:
Details my man, even pictures
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young schizophrenic from North Carolina, early 20's..quit taking his meds and they dry celled him and put him on suicide watch in medical. Officer wasn't paying attention and the dude reached through the wickett and gabbed the pencil off the log book. I was coming in and they said report to shu....Got suited up and we went to medical. I was point so I was responsible for controlling the body. We are getting ready to enter the room when the Lt. looks in the cell and his eyes get huge and he starts screaming GO GO GO GO!!!!! and racks the door. I go in and the dude is on the bed on his hands and knees with the pencil in his hands point up and he's driving his head down onto the pencil piercing his eyes. So I hit him and the other guys do their thing but to late. He stabbed his eyes out. That one fucked with me cause he was really a young guy and he just maimed himself for ever. It is what it is.
 
Stripped Rights said:
Details indeed! About the cannibal too pls.
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Young white guy from I think Ohio. Murdered his wife and basically deboned her and worked up her carcass like a deer. Made a crack pipe out of her femur. Made sandwiches out of her with mustard. He was a diabetic and always came early to chow to get his diabetic snack....a slice of bread with a slice of Fromunda cheese...
 
JackBootedThug said:
Young white guy from I think Ohio. Murdered his wife and basically deboned her and worked up her carcass like a deer. Made a crack pipe out of her femur. Made sandwiches out of her with mustard. He was a diabetic and always came early to chow to get his diabetic snack....a slice of bread with a slice of Fromunda cheese...
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I always wondered how someone could be cannibalistic. I don't imagine anyone would just off their wife just to see if they like human meat. I would imagine he had it before and liked it. Apparently he didn't care too much for sweetie anymore and wanted another taste. Crazy shit.
 
Inmates fill up a big cup full of steaming feces and throw it at the officers . I wouldn't be able to tolerate that I would go down for murder if an inmate did that to me especially if he got me with my mouth open.

:gethim::gethim::gethim::gethim:
 
JackBootedThug said:
Young white guy from I think Ohio. Murdered his wife and basically deboned her and worked up her carcass like a deer. Made a crack pipe out of her femur. Made sandwiches out of her with mustard. He was a diabetic and always came early to chow to get his diabetic snack....a slice of bread with a slice of Fromunda cheese...
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I guess he wanted his babys back babys back babys back babys back ribs.......
 
JackBootedThug said:
young schizophrenic from North Carolina, early 20's..quit taking his meds and they dry celled him and put him on suicide watch in medical. Officer wasn't paying attention and the dude reached through the wickett and gabbed the pencil off the log book. I was coming in and they said report to shu....Got suited up and we went to medical. I was point so I was responsible for controlling the body. We are getting ready to enter the room when the Lt. looks in the cell and his eyes get huge and he starts screaming GO GO GO GO!!!!! and racks the door. I go in and the dude is on the bed on his hands and knees with the pencil in his hands point up and he's driving his head down onto the pencil piercing his eyes. So I hit him and the other guys do their thing but to late. He stabbed his eyes out. That one fucked with me cause he was really a young guy and he just maimed himself for ever. It is what it is.
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I don't know why but this didn't really bother me. Swamp thing was way more disturbing. I would have a hard time treating someone like that humanely. I don't think I could do it if I had seen him in action first hand.
 
ccn said:
Inmates fill up a big cup full of steaming feces and throw it at the officers . I wouldn't be able to tolerate that I would go down for murder if an inmate did that to me especially if he got me with my mouth open.

:gethim::gethim::gethim::gethim:
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It happens…rarely. Reasons….
 
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JackBootedThug said:
Actually watching someone put out their own eyes…. I don’t know bro..that shit hit me hard.
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I wouldn't buy tickets to see it but happening upon it I don't think that one would get to me as much as someone getting violated by another inmate. That said, I could never do the job you did and be sane when I was done. I would probably wind up smashing a few choice skulls before it was over to maintain my sanity and we all know how that would work out. I'm def not cut out for that line of work.
 
VonBonfire said:
I wouldn't buy tickets to see it but happening upon it I don't think that one would get to me as much as someone getting violated by another inmate. That said, I could never do the job you did and be sane when I was done. I would probably wind up smashing a few choice skulls before it was over to maintain my sanity and we all know how that would work out. I'm def not cut out for that line of work.
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Yeah it’s hard to stay professional. I don’t care who you are. I will tell you a quick story when I first started. I chewed for years and got mandated and ran out of Kodiak. Guy I relieved gave me his pack of beech nut to get me through. Eventually I put in a big ole chaw…..they call a move and when it’s over they close the compound. I lock the door and stand there enjoying my chew. Here comes this douche bag wanting in. Doors locked. He says let me in. I say nope….you missed the move. Yeah I know-I’m being a bit of a dick. Anyway he proceeded to get in my face and start talking shit. He was getting spit in my face. I wiped my face and told him to chill out and quit spitting in my face. He continued. So I had a mouth full of beech nut juice and I just fuckin spit it in his face. It covered him. He just stopped and looked at me with eyes the size of fifty cent pieces. Wiped his face and turned and went straight to the lt.s office. I watched him go in and about 5 minutes later the secured the compound and took him to shu. Lt called me up and said “listen….you can’t spit on inmates…”…I said he got me twice and I warned him… Lt said “ oh….well fuck him then.”
 
Great thread. Great anecdotes / stories. I’ve practiced exclusively Crim defense for 22 years - state and Fed. Been in and out of countless state and Fed facilities for client consultations. I have heard enough stories from clients to really relate to the accounts in this thread. I wish I would have saved more and spent less along the way - I could probably be retired by now. But I’m sure I bought alotta shit as a distraction from the stress of the practice. I really can’t complain - the practice of law has given me and my family a nice life. But I won’t miss it one bit when the time comes to walk away.
 
PDC said:
Great thread. Great anecdotes / stories. I’ve practiced exclusively Crim defense for 22 years - state and Fed. Been in and out of countless state and Fed facilities for client consultations. I have heard enough stories from clients to really relate to the accounts in this thread. I wish I would have saved more and spent less along the way - I could probably be retired by now. But I’m sure I bought alotta shit as a distraction from the stress of the practice. I really can’t complain - the practice of law has given me and my family a nice life. But I won’t miss it one bit when the time comes to walk away.
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Tough job. I don’t have a lot of respect for the federal judiciary…. I don’t even know how you could represent someone as a defense attorney on a case. Their scare tactics are brutal.
 
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JackBootedThug said:
Fuck yeah….cs doesn’t bother me much….O.C. though….fuck that….shit is brutal. We just started carrying O.C. a couple years before I retired.
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I've seen 'em use it purposely on the recruits in the reality-TV show SAS Australia.

They had to cop a spray whilst carrying something up a hill and then concentrate enough to unlock a padlock with a hidden key in a shed when they reached it.

Definitely looked like a Helluva challenge.
 
Monkey Man said:
I've seen 'em use it purposely on the recruits in the reality-TV show SAS Australia.

They had to cop a spray whilst carrying something up a hill and then concentrate enough to unlock a padlock with a hidden key in a shed when they reached it.

Definitely looked like a Helluva challenge.
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Yah AFAIK it's a requirement to pass the test. My brother with asthma said it was terrible but he passed.
 
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